Into the darkness we must run
by avidmind
Summary: An Angsty Madine one-shot. MAtt Hunter/ Nadine Crowell


**AN: thanks in advance for reading and reviewing. This fic is AU.**

**Into the darkness we must run**

_If we wish to find the light, to see the sun; into the darkness we must run-nunu avidmind_

Nadine Crowell was a woman on a mission. Each determined step she took echoed through the brightly light hall way. With a startling jolt her feet made a stop directly in front of two wooden doors. With out any trepidation Nadine gently nudged the chapel doors open and peeked inside. The room was nearly empty save for a lone figure who was seated in the first row. His hair shimmered softly, set aglow by the dim candle light. A small Smile tagged at Nadine's lips as she drifted quietly up the aisle.

"Wow. This is the last place I thought I'd find you Matt."

With out looking back he said: "If Nurse Johnson sent you, tell her that I'm not interested."

"Oh, don't worry about that Matthew, Epiphany asked Dr. Simmons to scrub in." Nadine replied cheerfully.

"Then why exactly are you here Crowell?"

Slipping into the pew behind him, Nadine Leaned in and said: "I have a surprise for you."

"What? You've finally decided to stop speaking to me all together Crowell?"Matt Asked flatly

Ignoring his snide remark Nadine continued evenly. "It's your birthday tomorrow."

"OOOh! You read my face-book profile!" he replied sardonically.

"Yeah, after three months of waiting for you to friend me!" Nadine countered with mock indignation. "Any way that's not the Surpise Matthew. What I came to tell you is that I got Dr. Nedal to cover you shift!"

Matt Quickly spun around, his eyes flashing with furry. "You did what?!!"

"A thank you is usually the customary response."

"That's assuming that one is actually grateful!" Matt sneered.

Nadine could feel her cheeks reddening. "It took a week of charming to get Tom to agree to do this for you!"

"Oh thank you Saint Nadine for sacrificing a weeks worth of meal tickets for my sake! Wait—Oh that's right, I didn't ask you to!!!"

Nadine stared ahead as hot tears burning their way down her face. Her chest heaved rapidly in an effort to mimimize the searing pain which ripped through her lungs. Fighting to keep her voice steady she said "I was only trying to do you a favor Matt."

His eyes turned menacingly dark. "Let me explain something to you. Favors are things you do for friends. You and I are not friends therefore anything you do for me in the vain hope that I might actually give a crap and like you is pointless."

Without a word in response Nadine slipped out of the pew and quickly made her way out the door. She couldn't believe that she had let that happen. Everyone knew that Matt was a jerk. But she had been foolish enough to believe that she could get through to him, that she could Change him. Up until this moment Nadine had secretly cherished a glimmering notion that the Matt Hunter whom everyone knew and loathed was merely a façade erected to cover a torn, hurting man. But now she knew that her hope was nothing more than a fiction she'd created to comfort her breaking heart. Drying her tears with the back of her sleeve, Nadine made a resolve to never let that happen again. If love was meant to hurt that way then she didn't want any part of it.

As she neared the end of the hallway, a cold hand suddenly grasped her shoulder and spun her around.

It was Matt. Nadine's wide eyes were met with cold and scared ones.

"It's my mother…She—I… Sorry." He whispered disjointedly.

"Matt I…"

"She's gone" Tears began to trickled down his ashen face. "I can't—I'm sorry…" After one shaky sob Matt's head plummeted to Nadine's shoulder. The shocked nurse could barely understand what was going on, but her hands found their way around the doctor's chest. As she held him in her arms, Nadine realized that all the hurt and pain from before had melted away and was now replaced with a strong desire to feel love.

"Please, don't ever walk out on me." Matt whispered into Nadine's neck.

After a few silent moments in each others arms Matt abandoned the warmth of their embrace and with his back against the wall he slide down onto the cold floor. Nadine wordlessly joined him.

"About a month ago she went to the doctor complaining of chest pains. Her doctor didn't think that it was serious but as a precaution he made her get some X-rays. They found that nearly sixty percent of her lung tissue was cancerous. After some more tests they told my mom that she had less than four months to live."

The tears began to flow down Nadine's check once more. "I'm so sorry."She reached around his waist and held him tightly.

"Nadine I shouldn't have—I had no right to treat you that way."

"Ssssh its okay." She whispered.

"I'm sorry... She was the only person in this world who ever gave a crap about and now--"

"And now you have me. " Nadine finished. They eyes locked.

Matt looked away. He didn't deserve her. He was glad that she was there with him but he was painfully aware that their present position was due to nothing more than a momentary lapse in judgement by an all too trusting Nurse. With all his heart he wanted nothing more than to take her in his arms and kiss her but he couldn't because he knew that once he opened that door the only thing on the other side was heart ache. In the past the selfish choice had always been the best choice but now Matt had found somebody who he cared for more than himself.

"Nadine I can't go there with--"

She cut him off with by pressing her lips firmly against his. After a few seconds their lips parted.

"Mathew Hunter Tell me that you don't feel any thing for me. Just say the words and I'll walk away like nothing happened. You and I can go back to how things were before and no one will be the wiser. But if your heart felt what your lips seem to already know then I'll stay."

Nadine's heart thudded heavily against her chest with each passing second. She wanted him to say it, to end her misery but not a sound was heard. She waited for a response but non came. With a sigh she got up and began to make her way down the hall.

"Nadine wait." But she didn't stop. "I don't want to spend the rest of my life watching you walk away."

" Then stop me" She replied with out a backwards glance.

Matt took a deep breath. "I love you. "

With out a moments hesitation Nadine rushed back into Matt's arms.

"you know you could have said that a few minutes ago and saved me a lot of pain."

"You keep forgetting that I'm kind of a jerk Crowell." Matt answered.

"Well then you can spend the rest of our lives reminding me Mathew. "

**An: so what do you think ? Leave me a review . I know that Madine are a virtually impossible couple but I really believe that if it ever did happen they would be one of the best couples on the show....Any how if you happen to have read my fic called "Ripples" then I'm sure you' ill be glad tot hear that I will soon be re posting it and completing it. For all who haven't read it Ripples is an AU fic centered around Georgie, Johnny, Spinelli and Maxie. It's set during the B&W ball and explores what might have happened if certain situations had played out differently.**


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